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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 5, 2007 3:47:42 GMT -5
iiiiiiiiiiit's baaaaaack! And it's thirst for the blood of cheesy recurring moments in horror history is TWICE as strong! Itself, like one of the original 10 horror cliches, has risen from a supposed grisly demise only to continue to strike fear in the hearts of writers everywhere who dare to be unoriginal, trite, and most of all...................STUPID!!
You all know the drill. This is a living list of those cliche moments in the horror genre that just make you want to say.................YOU'VE GOT TO BE FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME!
Alright, enough foreplay, let's get it on! ;D
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 5, 2007 4:32:59 GMT -5
Since the original list began it's reign of terror with a benchmark number of 10, that's how'll I'll begin here. I can't remember all the originals, but these should still get the ball rolling......... 1. Parents just don't understand... - Yes, no matter how crazy or odd the behavior of their children becomes, these horror parents just refuse to care, say, or do anything about it. In severe cases the statement "He/she must be on drugs!" is often spoke. 2. We travel in packs! - Whether of monster or slasher, the "fodder" group must consist of a group no smaller than six members of either friends, family, or tourists. Another characteristic of this cliche is that the members must consist of all ranges of gender, race, and stereotypes. 3. Arise ye Baddie! - Our beloved baddie has just had a bridge collapse on him and it looks like everything is gonna finally be ok.......But wait! A closeup of the rubble reveals an eye opening, a hand rising, or even a weapon thrusting from the ashes! Way to let us in on the upcoming secret "surprise" attack finale, Mr. Writer............. 4. Let's investigate! - What was that strange bump in the night? I have an idea! Let's go stumble around in the dark and check it out. I suppose it could be a serial killer or maniacal slasher or even a blood thirsty mutant beast, but I'll bring this flashlight, that'll scare 'em away! 5. Bad luck Baddie - This of course is reference to the inevitable occurance of a string of miraculous, heaven-sent events unfolding to ensure the demise of our beloved baddies, and the survival of the inept heroes. Never mind that until now the guy/monster has been completely unstoppable................ 6. Can you hear me now? - Oh no! The baddie gonna get me! Damn, the phone is out! I'll climb out this window............It's jammed! Ok I broke it with a chair, now I'll drive away to safety............Oh what do you know, the car won't start! This has got to be the lamest, most unoriginal, overused plot ploy ever! Any writer who even considers using this turd of a script concept should stick to writing commercials and sitcoms. 7. I'm gonna run! Um.......Over here? - The baddie makes his presence and intention known and the would-be victim must make a run for their life. 5 feet from them is a car. 20 feet from them is a house. 1/4 mile away is a dark, menacing forest. Their choice? ? The forest of course! Run rabbit, RUN! 8. Hey, I didn't know MacGuyver was in this flick! - Our hero/heroine has exhibited nothing but Paris Hilton-level intelligence throughout the entire movie. But once they're the only survivor left, they discover they have the brains to build an incredibly clever, ingenious, and lethal trap/weapon out of nothing but a rubber band, shoelace, and half-eaten hamburger! You go on with your bad self Richard Dean Anderson! 9. The Bachelorette: Horror Edition - Ahh yes, nothing sparks the mood for romance like seeing all of your closest friends/family hacked to iddy-biddy pieces! Somewhere amidst all the blood and guts, our hero/heroine finds the time to make that special connection with that special someone. This guarantees a final scene containing coy looks followed by a long sloppy session of tonsil-hockey. And btw, it's purely coincidence that they are the only two survivors.................. 10. Zoloft saved my life! - Our hero/heroine begins, and spends the majority of the movie lacking self confidence, popularity, ambition............and more or less is a completely insecure mess. But at the right moment, they discover themselves, believe in who they are, and break out of their self-loathing-basket-case shell to whup some serious baddie a**! Who needs a session with Dr. Phil, just survive a horrible bloody massacre and you'll be fine! Well, there you go kiddies & ghouls, the list is off to a running start! Now rack your evil brains for more examples of what NOT to do if you're a writer in a horror film!
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Post by tsmooth31 on Aug 5, 2007 11:32:11 GMT -5
yessss the epic topic is back..good start to the list..i rememmber you also having one about when there is a shower scene its pretty much death for a character dont know if you wanna redo that one ..anyway here are some of mine i rememeber Bombs can't kill the hero/main character - ok anytime our film involves a bomb we have one of two things happen... A.) Bomb time does not run on our time. We will see our hero running from the bomb, they flash to the screen of the bomb its at 3, our hero still has along way to go he must be dead. Then it flashes back to him running he will be running for about 5 seconds so by this time we hould hear BOOOOOM!. But WAIT! what's this we are back to the bomb and it still has 2 seconds left. Then they will make the dramatic dive out of the window or door just as the bomb blows up. B.) Our hero becomes a master bomb technician. Not only does he disarm the bomb, but he will do it with 1 second left on the timer. As if to say **** you bad guy beat that!! Where are you guys?? - Similar to "Let's investigate"..This is usually where we have one or two characters left. All of their friends are either missing or have been brutally murdered by some maniac. Yet they will still hear a sound or see a figure and keep calling out to their friends walker deeper and deeper in their own death trap. Your friends aren't answering you because they are dead. Keep up your idiotic antics and you will be next. The crazy scientist - No matter how many of his friends or people around him he has seen the mutant/monster brutally murder he will still incist "we must capture it alive to study it". Ok he's dead - This is when our hero has finally managed to knock down the bad guy. After having their friends killed and almost being killed themselves it seems that knocking the bad guy down is a victory. Rather then bash in his brains to insure death they will turn the other way and walk away or just start running just asking for the chase process to begin again. Well...I guess we'll just blow him up - It will always take these genius's many failed attempts at trying to shoot the monster and use every other method of death before they realize why not just get the military involved and either blow him up, burn him or freeze him. ok so ther is some of mine i remmember..i thought of more yesterday but i cant really think now..so i shall post them hopefully later 2day..look forward to seeing more dave and anyone else.we need to make this list huuuuuuge
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 6, 2007 4:09:27 GMT -5
Good memory T! I'm glad you remembered those, especially "Ok he's dead."
Oh, and I think the one of mine you are referring to was this one:
Uh-oh! Teenagers are bumping uglies! - Watch out viewer, two hormonally charged teens are about to drop trow and have a role in the hay! One can be sure that a grisly death is on the way when they finish, or in some cases, while they're goin' at it!
Hehe, I can't believe I forgot that one as it was one of my personal favorites.
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Post by tsmooth31 on Aug 6, 2007 12:59:36 GMT -5
^^^ ahh yes i remmember that one...i really thugh you had another too tho bout taking a shower..because we all know taking a shower usually = death...well if you wanna make on about that feel free..anyway heres a couple more i though..
No...that WASN'T the wind - Here's a great one, we usually have to teens equally as dumb. The guy always wants to get it on but just as they are about to....there's a sound!!. The girl says what's that?? Now you figure the first thing that comes to mind for both is holy sh*t that's probably the maniac that was just chasing us with a knife. But no...his response is always "it's probably just the wind". Sorry guys but its never the wind.
Dont ever ask for directions - You're better off just driving around looking for where you're going and running out of gas then asking for directions. But if you must ask for directions, dont go to some rundown gas station in the middle of nowhere, or some house in the middle of the woods. What you are doing then is not really asking directions but rather "could you demented backwoods fellas tell us the best place to go where you can hunt us down one by one and brutally murder us".
more to come soon..................
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 6, 2007 18:19:35 GMT -5
Excellent job tsmooth! I especially liked the "don't ever ask for directions" cliche. That one is classic!
Not in a thinking mood right now, I'll try to come back later and post some new ones.
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Post by lazario on Aug 7, 2007 1:44:52 GMT -5
9. The Bachelorette: Horror Edition - Ahh yes, nothing sparks the mood for romance like seeing all of your closest friends/family hacked to iddy-biddy pieces! Somewhere amidst all the blood and guts, our hero/heroine finds the time to make that special connection with that special someone. This guarantees a final scene containing coy looks followed by a long sloppy session of tonsil-hockey. And btw, it's purely coincidence that they are the only two survivors..... Do you have any examples of movies that follow this cliche? Sounds like most of yours are... Slasher movie cliches. Especially the way you identify the baddie as usually being alone. As killers usually operate all by themself.
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 7, 2007 5:32:51 GMT -5
^^^^^^Slither. Don't remember any "slashers" in that movie.......................
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Post by lazario on Aug 7, 2007 5:50:39 GMT -5
Slither's too new. Anything older?
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 7, 2007 7:14:27 GMT -5
Not sure why being a "new" movie matters....................
To clarify, do you want examples that apply to only rule 9, or examples that apply to all of the list as a whole?
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Post by lazario on Aug 7, 2007 8:53:40 GMT -5
"The Bachelorette" cliche, exclusively.
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Post by tsmooth31 on Aug 7, 2007 10:21:29 GMT -5
laz you needa start watching some lowbudget garbage movies...i know you have to have seen movies where everyone dies except the 2 main characters and then at the end they finally have a kiss..it fits into alot of scifi original movies..supergator, i believe lake placid 2, some fire serpent movie...i forget the name..i know theres a bunch more...i would say it happens in alot of monster movies though rather then slashers..but anyway we need less criticizing and more cliche's
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Post by lazario on Aug 7, 2007 13:47:11 GMT -5
Well... I guess if you're going to name that many trashy horror movies, including Sci-Fi originals and the sort, then you've got a reason to complain about the cliches. But in fact, my motto's always been that each movie is different and what doesn't work for one movie may actually work for another. It varies on filmmaker, budget, style, plot, cast, and basic resources. But sometimes, it may look like a movie fails when actually it doesn't.
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Post by tsmooth31 on Aug 7, 2007 22:19:49 GMT -5
well even on a small budget its easy not to make a cliche movie..it seems as most directors dont even try anymore...but anyway we need some more cliche's..whadda ya say dave...got anymore??
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 7, 2007 23:14:15 GMT -5
Just getting started buddy! Here's one off the top of my head. May have been in the old thread, can't remember for sure.................
Have I made it clear that this killer is crazy? - The grisly/unthinkable acts of violence aren't enough to prove the killer's unstable ways. We have to get cheesy/trite commentary from the killer before, during, and after each kill. Can be a good thing if done right, but when done wrong, it just makes the killer seem like a poorly thought out stereotype.
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Post by tsmooth31 on Aug 7, 2007 23:32:47 GMT -5
haha yea i remmember that one..it was in the old topic..im gonna try and think of more right now and post later or 2morrow
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 7, 2007 23:38:15 GMT -5
yeah me too. right now i'm trying to get caught up on some of the new posts, and get the rest of the first round of my werewolf battles done. After that if i'm not too tired i'll try to come up with some more cliches. if not, for sure more to come tomorrow!
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Post by lazario on Aug 8, 2007 21:20:16 GMT -5
Do you think American Psycho falls under the "Too-Crazy" Killer's cliche?
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Post by Evil Dave on Aug 8, 2007 21:40:39 GMT -5
Some would probably claim that you could. But I don't think that I would include Mr. Bateman. The reason being that a good portion of the film is spent showing him being able to "conceal" his psychotic tendencies and functioning normally among those in his inner circle of work & social aquaintances.
With the cliche I was referring to characters more along the lines of Corbin Bernsen in 'The Dentist' or Clint Howard in 'Ice Cream Man.'
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Post by lazario on Aug 8, 2007 22:00:18 GMT -5
Haven't seen Ice Cream Man (after a traumatic Jack Frost experience, I never went near another A-Pix flick again). But I seem to remember The Dentist generally being against that cliche. Obviously, I'm due for a re-watch of it. While Patrick Bateman kept telling everyone that he was insane. They just never payed attention because they were all coked up or drunk / high (or low) on the '80s machine-scene (generalization). In fact, he was so crazy, that whole chunks of the movie might only have been taking place in his mind (though I'm not sure I believe that - not after Mary Harron's audio commentary). But... sometimes that movie is so bizarre, what other conclusion could be drawn from it?
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