Post by Evil Dave on Nov 18, 2007 9:39:19 GMT -5
Recently, my gal pal and I came to the conclusion that there's no bigger scam on earth than buying flowers. Seriously, $35 for an assorted bouquet or a few lousy roses? I don't think so, Mr. Greenhouse! You can kiss my rosey-red petunia! I mean, think about it, it's the perfect scam. They know people will never stop getting sick, having anniversaries, or just pissing each other off, so they're never going to run out of business. Plus, when any of these events happen, what are you going to send, a waffle maker? Noooooo, you have to send some damn flowers!
Also, we decided that receiving the damned things is pretty much a pain in the old rump as well. First of all, now you have to care for the frickin' things. Great, a present that I have to maintain! And how long do you need to keep them around? A couple days? A week? A MONTH! Will the person who sent them to you be offended when you throw them out? Ahhhhhh! Not to mention that it's a fairly hollow gesture to begin with. It's not like you weant out and bought seeds and nursed them to their full flowery potential. You drove a couple miles to some shop and shelled out half a day's wage for someone else to do the dirty work for you. No more, dammit! As a couple, we are hereby officially out of the vile weed game. Take that and shove it sideways Floral Hustlers!
Anyways, with that decision made, we then needed to come up with something better. Something genuine. Something with vested effort. Something................that was cheap.
What we finally decided on was this: The "I'm An Ass/Sorry That Happened/Hope You Feel Better/Congratulations/Holiday Celebration/Birthday Surprise/Thanks So Much/Random Thoughtfulness Fish Bowl." Basically, we made up a bunch of little coupon thingies with stuff on them that we both like and dropped them all in a fish bowl. Now, whenever a "flower moment" arises, we simply pull a couple of those puppies out and put them somewhere for the other one to find the next day as a surprise. So instead of having to be part of the flower conspiracy, now we get things like: Foot Rub & Massage, Complete Control of the Remote for an Entire Day, Breakfast in Bed, Free Dinner of Choice, and the complete wildcard---Recipient's Choice. We think all of these and the other choices are much better than getting the same old tired flowers again. Plus they require some real effort on the person's part which we think shows you care more anyways. Oh yeah, and IT'S FREE!!
Anyways, what's everybody else's thoughts on giving flowers, getting flowers, and the system we came up with to replace the madness?
Also, we decided that receiving the damned things is pretty much a pain in the old rump as well. First of all, now you have to care for the frickin' things. Great, a present that I have to maintain! And how long do you need to keep them around? A couple days? A week? A MONTH! Will the person who sent them to you be offended when you throw them out? Ahhhhhh! Not to mention that it's a fairly hollow gesture to begin with. It's not like you weant out and bought seeds and nursed them to their full flowery potential. You drove a couple miles to some shop and shelled out half a day's wage for someone else to do the dirty work for you. No more, dammit! As a couple, we are hereby officially out of the vile weed game. Take that and shove it sideways Floral Hustlers!
Anyways, with that decision made, we then needed to come up with something better. Something genuine. Something with vested effort. Something................that was cheap.
What we finally decided on was this: The "I'm An Ass/Sorry That Happened/Hope You Feel Better/Congratulations/Holiday Celebration/Birthday Surprise/Thanks So Much/Random Thoughtfulness Fish Bowl." Basically, we made up a bunch of little coupon thingies with stuff on them that we both like and dropped them all in a fish bowl. Now, whenever a "flower moment" arises, we simply pull a couple of those puppies out and put them somewhere for the other one to find the next day as a surprise. So instead of having to be part of the flower conspiracy, now we get things like: Foot Rub & Massage, Complete Control of the Remote for an Entire Day, Breakfast in Bed, Free Dinner of Choice, and the complete wildcard---Recipient's Choice. We think all of these and the other choices are much better than getting the same old tired flowers again. Plus they require some real effort on the person's part which we think shows you care more anyways. Oh yeah, and IT'S FREE!!
Anyways, what's everybody else's thoughts on giving flowers, getting flowers, and the system we came up with to replace the madness?
?? NEVER..but im glad you brought this up because i have always felt this way..flowers are completely pointless to buy...if anything id just buy some seeds and grow a garden..then you can get all the flowers you want 
