Post by lazario on Sept 9, 2007 1:07:46 GMT -5
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess. She was beautiful because if you said she wasn't, her father, the senile old King, would shoot you. The Princess was kind of Retarded. Because she found everything to be hysterically funny. So much so, that her father employed a Royal Pin Woman to quietly and discreetly stab her in the arm everytime she laughed at a beheading.
One day, like any other, the people of the village were gathered before the King's court to discuss town concerns. The King promised to give the people some of the Castle's better feast leftovers in exchange for some hand-kissing and bowing before his feet. But the King fell slightly ill and decided to let his daughter, the Princess, present the food to the poor, dirty, and partially blind village peasents. To say the least, it was a dark age for health care.
On that morning, the Princess drank 14 cups of hot cocoa and was a little wired. So much so that she whacked the Royal Pin Woman over the head with a rolling pin and stuffed her in the Royal Clothes-Hamper, somewhat unconscious. The Duke ushered her out to greet the villagers and give the starving poppers their food. But instead of taking the bread and cheese basket, she brought out something else instead.
She dropped her purse onto the floor so the Duke would bend down to pick it up. And when she could get a clear shot, she shoved the heel of her shoe through the front of his neck, to which he fell down and kind of slowly bled to death, but she ran outside onto the balcony and began throwing clumped handfuls of old, moldy, mushy pink cake at the peasents like hefty snowballs. Pink cake with melted candle wax, cigar butts, and aspirin-flavored baby puke mixed in the batter.
The peasents began to scream in terror with mouthfuls of Nasty Cake, hands with outstetched fingers wrapped around their throats. The Princess jumped out of the window, aiming to fall into a barrow full of hay, which prompted some of the less sickly peasents to make sure she survived the fall- because they do not want to be shot. She ran over to a choking woman and began to do the Macarena dance (even though it hadn't been invented yet).
Soon, all the peasents killed the Princess and when the King found her dead body, no one would admit to touching her. The King later had all his subjects beheaded. Including the Royal Pin Woman.
The moral of the story: Don't be retarded.
One day, like any other, the people of the village were gathered before the King's court to discuss town concerns. The King promised to give the people some of the Castle's better feast leftovers in exchange for some hand-kissing and bowing before his feet. But the King fell slightly ill and decided to let his daughter, the Princess, present the food to the poor, dirty, and partially blind village peasents. To say the least, it was a dark age for health care.
On that morning, the Princess drank 14 cups of hot cocoa and was a little wired. So much so that she whacked the Royal Pin Woman over the head with a rolling pin and stuffed her in the Royal Clothes-Hamper, somewhat unconscious. The Duke ushered her out to greet the villagers and give the starving poppers their food. But instead of taking the bread and cheese basket, she brought out something else instead.
She dropped her purse onto the floor so the Duke would bend down to pick it up. And when she could get a clear shot, she shoved the heel of her shoe through the front of his neck, to which he fell down and kind of slowly bled to death, but she ran outside onto the balcony and began throwing clumped handfuls of old, moldy, mushy pink cake at the peasents like hefty snowballs. Pink cake with melted candle wax, cigar butts, and aspirin-flavored baby puke mixed in the batter.
The peasents began to scream in terror with mouthfuls of Nasty Cake, hands with outstetched fingers wrapped around their throats. The Princess jumped out of the window, aiming to fall into a barrow full of hay, which prompted some of the less sickly peasents to make sure she survived the fall- because they do not want to be shot. She ran over to a choking woman and began to do the Macarena dance (even though it hadn't been invented yet).
Soon, all the peasents killed the Princess and when the King found her dead body, no one would admit to touching her. The King later had all his subjects beheaded. Including the Royal Pin Woman.
The moral of the story: Don't be retarded.
