Post by Alien_Destroyer on Aug 3, 2007 20:09:44 GMT -5
I always have to have a funny title. Sure, this may get me killed early on in a horror film but I can't have my threads lacking pizazz! 
Let's start listing those "famous" phrases that you would probably hear from anyone who doesn't have a PhD. I'll start with 5:
1)“You need to listen to your body because your body is listening to you.” (Of course! When my stomach rumbles, I want to eat human flesh! And when I fart, I obviously want to kill the person behind me with methane gas. My body eavesdrop on me too? No way! I hope it doesn't judge me! Does my body know I touch it at night?)
2)“Are you doing what you're doing today because you want to do it, or because it's what you were doing yesterday?” (No, I'm in the bathroom because I was too busy yesterday to do it, my body wanted me to eat human flesh the whole day.)
3)“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.” (Oh yes I can! I don't acknowledge your genius but I can change it by whacking you in the head with a brick Then your show could be Dr.Coco the Monkey)
4)“It's better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.” (Yes, because when my mother is dying of cancer and asks me where I'm going, I'll say "Sorry mom, too busy to be sad with you sick here, I'm gonna be sick of you somewhere else." And what if I'm the one in the hospital bed? "Sorry, don't have time to be sick I have to go run a marathon alone.")
and my favorite thus far:
5)“It's time to get real!” (Yes, your show is SOOOO real. I mean any yahoo can be a doctor! I'm going to be a surgeon! You should be my first patient. If you really wanted me to get REAL, you'd come over my house and bash my television with a baseball bat to get me from watching your crap. And then Morpheus would say, "Welcome to the real world." And I would forever be rid of you and Oprah and Paris Hilton and I'd fly and there'd be world peace as well as a decent horror remake!!!)
I'm not that funny, but I wanted to add a little laugh or two to these generic quotes.
Let's start listing those "famous" phrases that you would probably hear from anyone who doesn't have a PhD. I'll start with 5:
1)“You need to listen to your body because your body is listening to you.” (Of course! When my stomach rumbles, I want to eat human flesh! And when I fart, I obviously want to kill the person behind me with methane gas. My body eavesdrop on me too? No way! I hope it doesn't judge me! Does my body know I touch it at night?)
2)“Are you doing what you're doing today because you want to do it, or because it's what you were doing yesterday?” (No, I'm in the bathroom because I was too busy yesterday to do it, my body wanted me to eat human flesh the whole day.)
3)“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.” (Oh yes I can! I don't acknowledge your genius but I can change it by whacking you in the head with a brick
Then your show could be Dr.Coco the Monkey)4)“It's better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.” (Yes, because when my mother is dying of cancer and asks me where I'm going, I'll say "Sorry mom, too busy to be sad with you sick here, I'm gonna be sick of you somewhere else." And what if I'm the one in the hospital bed? "Sorry, don't have time to be sick I have to go run a marathon alone.")
and my favorite thus far:
5)“It's time to get real!” (Yes, your show is SOOOO real. I mean any yahoo can be a doctor! I'm going to be a surgeon!
You should be my first patient. If you really wanted me to get REAL, you'd come over my house and bash my television with a baseball bat to get me from watching your crap. And then Morpheus would say, "Welcome to the real world." And I would forever be rid of you and Oprah and Paris Hilton and I'd fly and there'd be world peace as well as a decent horror remake!!!)I'm not that funny, but I wanted to add a little laugh or two to these generic quotes.
